Angel-in-a Rose

Don't Let Me Be The Last To Know

2008-05-04T21:04:00.002-07:00

How does one become less insecure? Oh! I know!! Stop handing out my heart to any stupid guy that walks by!! That might help.

But that's easier said then done, now isn't it. Apparently you're not allowed to have hope that one day, one of those idiots will be your "Prince Charming". You're not allowed to believe that somewhere out there, there is a guy that is perfect for you and will need/want you as much as you do him.

Actually, I should cut out the want part. They all want me, they just don't need me. They want me cuz I can pretend that I'm really cool and fun, but as soon as we hit the sheets I become one of "those" girls. The one's that get all clingy and crazy when you casually walk away the next day, the type that actually believe every word you say and expect you to follow through on it.

The only thing with me is that I've been through it so much, that I expect it and quite often stubbornly refuse to let that happen to me. I've been blown off so many times by guys that don't have the balls to even say it didn't work out for them, that I will poke and prode to try to get a response out of them. Which of course only makes things worse. All I want is for them to grow some balls and let me know that it's over...

Creative Conflict

2008-05-02T17:53:00.002-07:00

You would think that being depressed or recently dumped would be outrageously good for my poetry writing, yet I have written hardly anything in a year or two. Which is funny considering I keep saying that I am in need of a creative outlet to help me deal with my emotions. My problem is I don't feel like doing anything. It's even a lot of effort just to write a blog. I can think up stuff in my head and go, "I should really go blog this!" but I don't want to go to the computer and type it out, or I'm in the car or at work and just can't at that time. Yet everything else that I used to do as a creative outlet, I find uninteresting or requires too much effort.

The majority of people who are depressed don't feel that they can do anything because they are worthless and such, I don't want to do anything because it requires moving and thought. Does that make me just lazy? I've been so depressed some days that all I want to do is sleep because it requires less effort and I don't have to think about anything, my sub-conscience does it all for me. I just don't want to think some days.

Maybe because it's thinking that gets me into this trouble in the first place. I think too much. I over-analyze just about everything. I always have to think of the different out comes that this choice could have, or what if this happens, or what if I had done this differently. My brain is filled with what-ifs from pathways that I never will follow, just in case. And knowing how things could have been had everything been "perfect" makes me sad...

To Buy a New or Move an Old

2008-04-30T19:19:00.003-07:00

TV that is. I have a perfectly good TV at home. A 28" I do believe, that i got a few years ago when I worked at Walmart, and it works great, it's nothing fancy though, it doesn't have picture in picture, or HD, but it works, and that's good enough for me. Except it's bulky and heavy, and there is no way I can lift it alone, so moving it out here in my car is out of the question. So I either have to wait till I have enough room and can convince my dad to come down with a load of crap in the Van, or I could buy a new TV, preferebbly something lighter (ie: Skinnier). There are a few decent sized one's that I could get for under or around $600, but do I want to fork out the cash for a shiny new LCD flat screen TV?

Confessions of a Crazy Girl

2008-04-29T22:55:00.002-07:00

I don't like to do hook-up's. I suck at them. I can't remain emotionally detatched, and there for always do get attatched, and then never know how to act the next morning. "Did he not enjoy himself? Is that why he seems more distant today?" "If I play it too cool, will he think that I didn't enjoy myself?" "If I act too cuddly and happy will he think I'm like that psyco clingy chick from The Wedding Crashers?"

Then there's having to deal with the ride home. You can usually fake some chit chat while in the car, but how do you say goodbye? Should you kiss, hug, say "Thanks, I'll see ya later!"

The whole thing is just far too stressful for me. Especially if it's a guy that you do like, but you don't entirly know what the situation is. A guy that you know you'd get along great with cuz you totally dig his sarcastic side, and can act totally retarded around because he's gonna act the same way. Someone who you've known for awhile, and you've been flirting up a storm for the past few weeks, but don't know very much about them as a person. Then there's the whole paranoia issue: Dude!! This guy you used to have a thing for is now chasing you like mad. Is this some kind of very cruel joke? He has the same freinds as your ex, there must be something fishy about it. And if there isn't, you're so gonna screw this up somehow. Cuz that's what I do. I fuck things up by being over analiytical, or super clingy...

World on a String...?

2008-04-13T18:45:00.003-07:00

Isn't it funny how the ones that people admire most, the ones people think must have the world on a string, are the most fucked up?

Most of my life, I've heard how pretty I am, how smart I am, that I would make a great catch. Yet I have yet to find someone who acts upon that. Here I am, 29, pretty, funny, smart, single, and supposed to be having the time of my life. And all I want is for things to be simple and laid out for me, to be happily married with little children, have a cute little house, and to know that everything is going to be dandy. I was so born like, 30 years too late. I know I would be in my hay day if things were as they had been in the 50's.

But now, at the supposed "peak of my life", I am surrounded by loving friends and family, I feel so utterly alone and isolated. And I don't know why. I don't think myself as unworthy. I know I have the love and support of many, but still that does not seem to comfort me. Even on such a nice day as today, when my caring Uncle helped my sister and I move some of her boxes into storage, so that I can have more space in my new place, something that I've desired greatly, I am so utterly low.

Who knows. Maybe I'm just tired, or hungry, or lacking in some vitamin or another. Or maybe it was watching the great love scenes, on The Tudors. even watching the religious turmoils on The Tudors has me upset, and I totally agree with the direction that the king took, in moving away from the greediness and corruption of the Roman Church during that era. Almost makes me wish I was religious in some way. Which is just absurd.

Although there have been a few times when I have inwardly cried out to someone, something, to ask why I feel as I do, why I feel so unloved, when I know full well that there are many that love me dearly. I feel like my whole life i have been promised love, but have never truly received it. I totally blame Hollywood for making Love seem so glamorous and wonderful, when really it can be truly cruel and painful. And making it seem as though love is "The One" and "Forever" when love can be fleeting and temporary. That one day a prince will come and sweep you off your feet and carry you to his castle.

Is it wrong to want to be a simple house wife? Is it even more wrong to want to be a 50's house wife because of the cool outfits? :)

Is it wrong to just want someone to except me for who and how I am? To want someone to put their arms around me and make me feel safe, wanted, loved, and protected?

Is it wrong to not want to feel like your heart is broken almost every day?

And I do realize that I have expressed these feelings before, and I know that there is nothing anyone can do for me to make me feel better. I am just being suffocated by these feelings right now, and feel the need to express them to someone, anyone, yet no one in particular, as I do not feel the need to burden anyone with my melancholy mood swing...

A Small Sense Of Stability

2008-04-10T23:33:00.003-07:00

I have acquired a small sense of stability in my life. I have found a place to live. Well, I've decided to take over my sister's place, as trying to find something that is within the same price, as close to transit and amenities, and lets me keep my cat, is proven very difficult and time consuming. Time which I don't really have... With working full time and the stress of not having a permenent address, having TONNES of clutter in my space, gotta do the dishes, gotta do laundry, gotta go grocery shopping, I'm stressed to the max. So, now I have one thing down, and on Sunday our Uncle will be helping to move most of Sara's stuff into a storage locker, and then I can actually breathe in this place without bumping into anything.

Not to mention, more space for things I like :)

Another year...

2008-04-07T15:58:00.002-07:00

Another day, another year, another number on the cake. Good thing I don't look older than 25 :D

3 more Days!!!

2008-03-31T19:18:00.001-07:00

3 more days and I get to go home!! Yay!! Not for good though :( Although I am quite enjoying myself out here on the coast, it just isn't home. Well, at least not yet. Maybe after I've been here for a few months, and have a place I can actually call my own, and have my kitty here to keep me company at night, then it will feel more like A home. But Kamloops is still home home.

And it's my birthday on Saturday!! YAY!!! I get to become a cougar in training!! At least I'm a damn hot 29 year old. That's one thing to enjoy. The being single part, I'm still not sure about. it's Ok, but not really what I want. I'm getting to that point where girls can make really stupid decisions based on what they wanted for thier future when they were young, and not based on what is good for them right now. And right now, not being in a relationship is definitly better for me. Please remind me of that next time I say I found the perfect guy...

Man, I have this throbbing headache that is so from my walk up the hill from the bus stop. Sometimes it is really hard to breathe going up that hill. I don't know why, there is no congestion in my lungs, but it still feels heavy to breathe. And my sternum hurts too. And my throat from the breathing. I should go to the doctor... Maybe...

Looking Up?

2008-03-28T22:47:00.003-07:00

Hello! How are you? I am fine. Thanks for asking.

Things seem to be looking up right now, but maybe I'm just high on my meds and sleep deprived, who knows... I feel... better. I suppose getting out of the house and doing stuff is helpful. I still kinda feel isolated, but that's because I don't even have my kitty to keep me company at night. And, my body is screaming for a nice HOT relaxing bath, but I no have-y bath tubby :( I can't wait to go home next Friday, snuggle with my kitty, and plunk myself into the tub. Sans kitty of course, she really hates that thing...

The new job is good, I'm already doing a stellar job, like always. Now i just have to be able to answer people's questions about what kind of foam would be best for thier needs. Which sometimes is hard to guess as most of them don't really know what their needs are.

It would also be nice to finally feel settled, which is very hard as I am staying at my sister's with all of her stuff. I've moved it, stacked it, and glared at it with all my might, but it still just looks like a pile of junk cluttering up a tiny space. I think I'm going to have to convince her to go through it, and put most of it in storage for right now. As it is right now, there is no way that her landlady will willingly want to show the place. It looks very much like a slum hole. A very well educated slum hole, but still... You know what I found today while I was rooting through the cupboards trying to make better use of the space in them? A potato. A potato growing up INTO the wall. And the sad part is, I have this feeling that it's happened before. I'm having some serious Deja-Vu about this whole situation.

So ya, it would be nice to have most of my sister's stuff out of here so I can get some normal stuff in here. Like, a bed off the ground. Or an actual TV Stand. Or even better yet, how about a kitchen table and some freakin chairs to sit on. You want to know what there is to sit on right now? The bed, which is a futon and a tonne of blankets on the floor, a computer chair, and a couple of floor mats. i have to watch my DVD's on my laptop, which sits onto of an empty box, while lying in bed. Which isn't terribly bad because at least then I'm warm from being under the covers.

So, anybody know anyone in Vancouver looking for a roommate? Besides me that is....

Don't Want to Say Goodbye

2008-03-23T21:05:00.004-07:00

As the pain comes and goes
So does the desire
To rush into your arms
And beg for once more

I did not see this coming
I did not know the longing
Would give me such dispair

I don't want to say goodbye
I've cried and cried and cried
And can not find the solution
To make my heart stop breaking

I saw the tears you cried
As we waved and said goodbye
And the memory
Tears me up inside

I'll try to carry on
Into this new conclusion
But leaving you behind
Was never my intention

Rescue Me

2008-03-23T20:55:00.002-07:00

The dark, the dark
The ever invading depths
Of such a deep dispair

Distain for life
Yet hunger for touch
Where is the light that guides?
I feel it no more

Shut the door to the world
Don't want to smile any more
But need the love of the world
To fend off the tremors

So alone
In perfect solitute
Of my own design
Lost the key to that door
Need someone to rescue me

Here I Come!!

2008-03-23T08:29:00.002-07:00

When I outta say no!!

Got to go see Dragonette the other night, which was AWESOME!!! The first of many concerts I will get to see now that I live in a music hub.

Yes, that's right, Lisa got a job!! It's not particullarily a spectacular job, but it's easy and it pays good. I'm going to be following in my little sister's foot steps and be working at The Foam Shop. I start tomorrow in a location that I still don't quite know where it is, but that's OK. As long as they allow me my few days off to come back to the loops to celebrate my B-day, and pick up things that I am missing. Like my kitty.

I miss my little puss-puss something fierce. I'm sure the fact that my sister has cat that looks almost identical to my baby doesn't help. That and I am alone in this closet all day and night and could sure use her cuddley company.

The good thing is that with all the time I have, I've been able to arrange my sisters crap in such ways as to make room for my crap, and create more floor space. And storage. It's not really her fault, she hardly spends any time here and so hasn't taken the time to focus on how to best use what little space she does have. And appearently I've watched enough HGTV shows to have ideas about how this can be achieved. Mostly with many trips to IKEA, but also just with some rearranging and purging. Which is the hardest thing to do for a pack rat family.

Just because you know it's for the best,

2008-03-15T13:04:00.003-07:00

Doesn't make it hurt any less.

The inevitable has happened. I knew that it would come eventually, I just didn't want to accept it. Me and my boyfriend have split. It was semi-mutual, meaning that I knew we probably should, I just really didn't want to.

It's hard to want to let go of someone who is so close to being exactly what you've been looking for. And despite his indiscretions in the past, he is a really nice guy and will one day make some girl really happy. It's just that girl isn't me, and that's hard to bare. Especially when you've spent the last year hoping, praying, and demanding that you get a nice guy. I feel I totally deserve to be finding Mr. Right by now. I've been a good girl, and I've put up with a lot of shit. I think karmic-wise I deserve it by now.

On another note, I have now moved down to Vancouver. It seemed best that I go right away, since the only thing that was keeping from going, was now out of my life. That, and I'm a sensetive one, and wouldn't be able to bare driving past certain places without bursting into tears right now.

So now it's my sisters job to keep me entertained, and gainfully employed. Well, at least make sure that I get off my ass and go out and look anyways.

Now, if only I had an army and a HUGE trash bag, so that I could clean up her tiny closet of an apartment. Or find a better one of my own....

Vancouver?

2008-03-09T18:08:00.002-07:00

I've been thinking of moving to Vancouver. My sister lives down there, and I miss her, and I could really use the change of pace and scenery. She has an apartment down there, which we always call here $500 a month storage locker, because she spends most of her time over at her boyfriends house, and basically is just keeping the apartment to keep all her crap in, because his place is just as tiny as hers, but with more walls. They are finally going to be officially moving in with each other when his lease is up too, which will be nice. So for right now, I have a place to live.

The job market down there is also a lot better than it is here. There are lots of warehouse jobs and such, things that I would be interested (good) at doing.

And because my sister has been down there for a couple of years now, she has a good network of friends, that I will get along with too, seeing as half the friends I have now, were hers to begin with. We always end up hanging around the same type of people, which the same morals, values, and such. So much so, that all of our friends get along with each other too. We can through a party and invite all of our friends that don't know each other, and it's pretty guaranteed that a lot of them will leave with some new found friends.

The only things really holding me from running down there right now are:
My boyfriend, the comfort of my best friends, the comfort and inexpenses of living at home, and the fact that I love this little town that I grew up in and don't necissarily want to leave it.

My best friends will understand and support me no matter what I do (that's why they're my BEST freinds), I have lived on my own before and do enjoy it, and my sister will help me by paying the rent on her place until she moves, and I could always move back home after gaining some more experiences.

The boyfriend issue is a little more complex. I have to talk to him about whether or not he even wants to continue the relationship, much less change it to a long distance one, or try to convince him to move down there too. It would give him more job opportunities too, and there is always the option of moving back.

There is still a lot of things that need to be thought about, talked about, and ironed out before I can make any final decisions though....

I want Bigger Bubbles

2008-03-07T21:06:00.002-08:00

All I want is more bubbles.

For some reason the water at my house does not like making bubbles in the bath tub, even if I put in gobs or bubble bath. I've tried bath salts, baking soda, different bubble baths, and I still only get a meager amount of bubbles. We even had a water softener before, and still NO BUBBLES!!!

So, I have been looking for one of those massage jet things that you can place on the side of your tub, and it will inject air into the tub and there for make with the bubbles, but apparently, the only place you can find such things now is on EBay, and bidding on some of them is around $100. Which considering websites are listing them and discontinued and no longer available, regular $40, is ridiculous.

Why is it that whenever I know what I want, I can't find it?

Gym

2008-03-05T17:36:00.001-08:00

It's never a good idea to go to the gym when you haven't gone in a couple of weeks and all you've eaten so far today is a sandwich. There is no way you can last 30 min on the tread mill without wanting to pass out....

Man, am I gonna be sore tommorow.

Sometimes I wonder...

2008-03-05T12:24:00.005-08:00

Sometimes, when I am sitting on the couch beside my boyfriend, I wonder if he's thinking of her instead of me, and maybe that's why he doesn't touch me. And sometimes I wonder if the only thing that stops him from being with her is her age.

And if when I'm staying over and he isn't there I have to really fight the urge to snoop through his computer to check to see that he hasn't emailed her recently, or if she has sent him anything else on FaceBook.

Really, I want to secretly block her on his Facebook and then I'd send her an incredibly mean message about how he chose me over her, and that contrary to her belief, I do NOT take every minute I spend with him for granted. In fact I cherish every minute I spend with him. And rue every minute she spends with him.

In fact, I'd tell her:

Stop emailing, texting, messaging, and Facebooking my man. That's right, MY man. You're too young and can't have him. He chose me over you already. I gave him the option to walk away, and he chose to stay with me. So no more or your whiny, snivelling "I miss you". And especially none of your "Hi Handsome!" or "Did I do something to upset you cuz you seemed really mad at me at work today?" And certainly no more "My life sucks so much that last night I sat in the bathroom with a bottle of pain killers and just wanted to end it all." Get over yourself. You're 16, this is not the end of the world. Your life can't possibly be that horrible, unless what your feeling is guilt. Guilt that you're secretly trying to manipulate your supervisor into an incriminating position. Or guilt that you are going out with a guy in the hopes the he will help you try to get over your supervisor. So why don't you take his advice and get on with your life? And stay the fuck out of mine. Oh, and get your own fucking ride home bitch!!

On a side note: Thanks a lot to the freakin asshole that commented that I deserved to have my boyfriend like a 16 year old more than me, and that he was probably cheating on me with her too. I do happen to trust my boyfriends moral judgement enough that he would not cross that line with her. Being that she is far younger than him and he is in a supervisory role, he knows the consequences that would follow and so does she. Yes, he's a stupid guy that thinks that having an emotional relationship with a girl other than your girlfriend is OK, but he is smart enough to know when to draw the line. In fact through out the whole ordeal, it was never a matter of me trusting him, it was the issue of not trusting the 16 year old girl. I've been that girl. I know what it's like. And in a strange way, I feel sorry for her and well as hate her.

Spring!!

2008-03-04T13:52:00.004-08:00

Have I mentioned how glad I am that the snow is melting and it's gotten warm enough outside, that my cat will go out and play? I am very excited. This means that I don't have a ball and chain hanging around, cutely pawing at my arms for some attention when I'd rather be doing mindless things on my computer. Mostly, because she doesn't actually like to play. She just wants you to pay attention to her. If you try to play with her, mostly she just looks at you like you're crazy and have no idea what your doing.

I compare it to playing with a 4 year old, and your doing it wrong because you don't know all the rules because they just made them up in thier little heads, so you might as well give up now rather than continue being yelled at by a child... That's what it is like trying to play with my cat.

The good news is I'm feeling happier today. It could be the incredibly sugary drink that I just had, or the copious amounts of sleep I've had in the past few days (although, admittidly, I probably will still have a nap today). Or it could just be the fact that I get to go see my baby tonight. Even though all we do is watch TV, it's nice just to have someone to cuddle up to and just have all your cares in the world melt away. It's like that really satisfyed feeling after some good sex.

I'm not ready

2008-03-02T22:56:00.004-08:00

Truth be told, I don't want to go out and find a job. Not because I'm lazy. Not because it scares me. But because I don't feel that I am ready to deal with not being myself again. Last year was really hard on me, I took alot of stress and was really drained, and it really rocked me to my core. So much so that I became seriously depressed, and finally went to my doctor about it. And even though I am taking medication and seeing a therapist, I still feel like there is alot of issues that I haven't overcome or dealt with yet. I still don't feel like myself.

But how can I be 28, almost 29, living at home and unemployed? I can't! I have to go out and make myslef some money, to pay down the debts that I have amassed. And it's not like I want to live at home forever. I would love to move out on my own, but I feel like I am never going to afford to. I can't make enough money to pay down my debt and live the lifestyle that I want to live.

I am in a never ending circle and I don't know how to make it stop. I don't know how to make myself happy with who I am right now, and the circumstances that I am in. I'm scared because I don't know what my future will bring. I've spent so much of my life dreaming of what I could do or what I'll become, and I am nowhere near any of that. I've had all my dreams shattered, reality has sunk in, and I am lost. I don't know what I want to do, I don't know where I want to be.

How can I move on with my life, if I don't know which path I am on?

How does one "Scrapbook"?

2008-03-02T20:53:00.003-08:00

I've fought the urge to join the millions and millions of "Scrapbookers" a billion times. Everytime I walk into a craft store I am bombarded with pretty papers, scissers, accessories, and cases. Yes, thousands of cases to keeps all your pretty little papers in. I've wanted to try it, but do I really have the time? Can I be creative enough to arrange pictures and paper cuttings in such a fashion that it looks fashionable, yet uncluttered? I really don't know. Hence why I've avoided it so far.

It is an expensive hobby. Not the most expensive I'm sure, but definitly one of the ones that will have you buying loads of stuff that you use once, give up and toss in a cupboard for "when you have more time".

My house is filled with suck things. My mom sewed our clothes when we were younger. We did tonnes of crafts as kids, and then as time goes on, things other than cutting and glue paper become more exciting.

I recently just spent an hour in our "sewing room" (which has now become more of a "throw your junk in here" room) just throwing out stuff that we will never use. Old patterns, old fabrics. Alot of zippers of many very ugly and useless colors and lengths. When am I ever going to need a 50" beige zipper? Never!! I tossed alot of stuff that was probably about as old as I am, some of it passed on down from my grandma. I filled a green garbage bag. I'm not even close to being done.

And all just so that I could get a filing cabinet. Well, so that I could clear a path to the other cupboard that my dad will use to hold his printer, and then I can take the filing cabinet that he is currently using for that purpose. He still hasn't gotten around to that. Procrastination and clutter collecting runs in our family....

MY life as it is...

2008-03-01T10:08:00.003-08:00

My life right now, is far more relaxed than last year, even though I have no job, my boyfriend has outright told me that he likes a 16 year old girl from work more than me, and I am constantly switching between being so depressed that I don't want to get out of bed, and forcing myself out of bed with such enthusiasm that it's like I'm not depressed at all. It's oodles of fun being bi-polar! Even if I am only mildly so. It still counts. It totally does...

So now I have to go out and look for another job, which I have. I hate the whole process of pretending to be better than you are so that other people will like you. It's even worse for me because I have to convince these people that I adore customers and waiting on their every need.

When in truth, I hate people. Not all people, just society as a whole. If you break the world down into basic groups and generalize them all, I hate most of them. I hate arrogant people who insist on making retail workers their personal maids. I hate people that are so wishy-washy that they can't make any decisions on their own and are always asking you which would be the right one. I hate teenagers who think they are better than everyone else. I didn't get along with teenagers when I was one, and I certainly don't get along with them now. I hate people who think they are better than you, just because you are trying to work a decent honest job in the service industry. I hate people who are so dumb they don't even know their own shoe size. Like, how are can you go to a store and try on shoes, and NOT know your own SHOE SIZE?!?!?

Working in retail, I have concluded that 2/3 of the human population can be down-right STUPID, especially when it comes to shopping. And I do not make any excuses for the many many stupid employees out there too. I have worked with far too many a girl who was completely useless at their job, and were it up to me, would have been fired long before their probationary three month period.

Well, that's my rant for right now. I'm gonna go eat some breakfast...

Spring Clearance!! Everything must go!!

2008-03-01T00:04:00.004-08:00

Incase you haven't noticed, it's out with the old and in with the new again. This time, though, I'm feeling very uncreative and don't feel like wasting all my time, so I'm simply going to Blog for awhile.

And yes, I was encouraged to do soafter watching the premier episode of Quarterlife. And the fact that although I've had a website for over 10 years now, It's never really been very personal. It's always been filled with poetry, and music, and things that I love, but never really filled with me. So here we are. "angelinarose.com" stripped of all it's fancy and glitter to reveal me, Lisa Farquharson.

What's New Pussycat?

2007-10-19T16:13:00.001-07:00

Well, well, well. It's been awhile. Hawaii was awesome!! I Got to go surfing on my birthday! I had a blast. Coming back to work was hard and it just kept on getting harder. So I quit. Now I'm taking some courses and after having a month off, I'm starting one of my new jobs next week. The other one I start the week after.

Right now, I'm trying to get around to reading my text book, which is really hard as economics os SO INCREDIBLY boring!! That and I have the whole house to myself and I can't seem to drag my butt off the couch. Even though I am throwing a party tomorrow and still have to clean up my basement and 2 bathrooms!! I'll pull it all together last minute I'm sure. That's how I like it appearently. Everything last minute. Is procrastination an inherited trait, or just a learned skill?

Oh, ya. And I'm planning on remodeling the website too. Cuz I don't have enough things to do already....

Oddly Lucky Week

2007-03-04T07:35:00.001-08:00

This week I: got invited to Hawaii, got a new cell phone and can get a free 4GB memory card that I can also use in my camera, and got a promotion/raise at work.

I sceptically wondering where all this good luck has been hiding, and why it decided to come out in the same week. I'm also wondering if it's all used up now, will continue, or I will now have to deal with a back lash or bad luck to counteract it.

My Aunt is going to Hawaii April 2-9th, and as it is over my birthday, decided it would be cool to invite me to come along. I have to pay for my airfare and stuff, but I have a place to stay if I wanted to go. My parent's then said they would pay for the airfare as a birthday present for me. I'm like, well, when else am I gonna get the chance to go to Hawaii, except after I'm old and married and the kids have all grown and moved away.

I then got promoted to Assistant Manger at my job. This includeds a $1 raise. My first day at the new position, I was left alone in the store for 3 hours, and then had to train a new guy (yes, guy in a girls clothing store so you can imagine that I had to teach him ALOT), all while the store was fairly busy. I also managed to do 111% of our plan for that day, and sold 4 prestige cards. Depending on how they did on Saturday, it will be the best or second best day all week.

The cell phone, just I was browsing them and got convinced to get it. I got a Sony Ericson W810i. It looks like a camera on the back and a phone on the front. Takes good quality pics too, with options that are just like my Sony digital camera so I totally understand them already. It plays MP3's at the push of a button, and is just generally snazzy. AND because I signed up for the 3 year service plan, I get a free 4GB Memory Stick Duo Pro, which is the same kind that goes in my Song digital camera. So now I can take TONNES of pictures in Hawaii with my camera or my phone.

I wonder what will happen next?

Why I shouldn't be left alone with a pair of scissors at 4am

2006-12-10T17:45:00.000-08:00

I chopped like 5 inches off my hair last night. I got tired of the fried ends and took out a pair of scissors. I then had to layer it, which took some consideration, more time, and alot of pulling hair. And there was a HUGE amount of hair in the garbage when I was done.

I then had to have a shower today to see if the layers did my curls any good. Which, they do. Of course I sure did miss that extra hair in the shower, it's so much shorter, I kept running off the end of it expecting there to be more still.

And now I have some cute new pics with my new do, and I'm splattering them everywhere.